What I've been up to...

I haven't experienced what it is like to bring home a newborn just days after the baby is born.  But being the mom to a baby in the NICU is not an easy thing and takes alot of will power to keep going on.  Not to say I am any busier than any other new mom and I am sure life will not slow down once Willa does come home.  My daily schedule when I work in the mornings and go see Willa in the afternoon looks something like this -

6:00-6:30 am - wake up to pump, wash up, and put away parts
6:30-8:00 am - get ready and get some work done
8:00-8:30 am - call to check up on Willa
9:00-9:30 am - pump again
9:30-noon - get some work done
noon - 1:00 pm - pump and eat lunch
1:30 pm - leave for Wichita
2:45 pm - change Willa's diaper and take her temperature
3:00-3:30 pm - pump again
3:30-5:45 pm - hold Willa
5:45 pm - change Willa's diaper and take her temperature
6:00-6:30 pm - pump again
7:00 pm - say my goodbye and head home swinging through Wendy's across the street from the hospital (not going to eat at Wendy's for a very long time after we are home although Frosty's are my new favorite.  Yum!)
8:15 pm - get home and try to get one thing done for the night
9:00 pm - pump again
11:00 pm - pump one more time before bed
3:00 am - wake up to pump
and the cycle starts over...

I joked around with the NICU nurses the other day.  I'm going to be sad when I have to give back the pump the hopsital loaned to me.  I think we have bonded.  Breastfeeding is supposed to help bond you with your baby.  Instead I have bonded with a machine.  There is something wrong with that :P And with all that pumping I have a pretty good stash.  I counted up I have about 450 two ounce bottles in my freezer.  That is around 900 ounces.  Some or maybe even most of it won't get used, but dang it I have something to show for all the pumping I've been doing.

And with that, I'm off to pump again!

Our Merry Little Christmas

Willa had a busy week last week.  Santa came to visit, she was photographed and interviewed, and had time to do some sleeping and growing.  Willa made 5 lbs even on Christmas day.  Just a few days earlier we were interviewed by a writer with the Wichita Eagle.  We knew it was going to be in the paper this week but I had no idea it would make front page news.  Definitely something cool to have for Willa's scrapbox.  I wish I was creative and had time to do a scrapbook for her, but I just don't have it in me.  But I did go buy a cute box to put her stuff in.  It makes me feel a little better that the box is cute and not just an old shoe box :)  If you missed seeing the article you can click here.  Santa came to visit that day as well.  The hospital put together a video of all the babies that Santa visited.

We spent Christmas day with Willa and brought her all the presents Santa delivered. We wish she could have been home for Christmas but we made the best of the situation.  Here are some pictures of Willa during her holiday week.

Hope you all had a Merry Christmas.  We are looking forward to 2012 and bringing home Willa.  Hoping that is soon and very soon!

Getting lots of loving

My parents, sisters, 91 year old grandma, and Mitch's mom came to see Willa this past weekend.  Grandma last saw Willa when she was 1 pound 11 ounces.  So she was very excited to see the change.  I'm pretty sure my grandma jumped (not even kidding...I hope I can still jump when I'm 91 and use a cane!) when she came to tell me she got to hold Willa.  This week was the first time family members have been able to hold Willa so I had to include a picture of each one.  Here we go -

With Autie April

With Autie Katrina

With Autie Lexi

With Grandma Net

With Great Grandma Marshall

With Grandpa Jimmy

With Grandma MJ (Mary)

So as you can see there was no shortage of loving for Willa over the weekend.

Willa is 11 weeks old today.  She continues to gain weight consistently at about an ounce per day.  She is now 4 pounds 9.5 ounces.  She was put back on 1/16 liter of oxygen this week and has been doing well with just that little extra to help her out.  Willa had her first hearing exam and she shows no problems with her hearing.  That was wonderful news!  She also met with a physical therapist who checked to be sure her muscles are developing as they should.  She has great strength in her neck muscles.  She is still struggling with taking her feeds from a bottle.  She is up to being able to nipple 4 times per day.  She needs to get to 8.  This is the part of the NICU stay that is agonizing.  There is nothing medically wrong with Willa and this is nothing that the doctors or nurses can give meds to fix.  It's all on Willa's time right now.  She makes the decisions right now.
I did get a phone call from the writer with the Wichita Eagle and we meet on Thursday this week to talk about Willa.  Thursday is also a big day in the NICU.  Santa is coming to visit the babies!  Santa has to come to the NICU early because he gets way to many germs on his suit Christmas Eve when he delivers presents to all the houses around the world.  Not going to lie...I'm pretty excited for Santa to come :)
Unfortunately, Santa is not going to be able to get Mitch and me what we wanted this year - Willa to come home.  Since she is still struggling with taking bottles, she will be staying in the NICU a while longer yet.  I'm still hoping to have her home before my due date - January 9th.

And in this corner...

weighing in at 4 lbs 1.9 oz, the star of "Via Christi This Week" - Willa Elizabeth Hall!  Shown here cuddling with her Daddy -

I wrote awhile back about us being interviewed and having pictures taken at the hospital.  That article was printed on Monday in the hospital's employee newsletter that is available throughout the Via Christi hospitals.  Willa was the headliner story.  We were sure to grab extra copies so if anyone wants one, be sure to ask and we can get you a copy.  The public relations department contacted me this morning and asked permission to give our contact information to the Wichita Eagle.  Apparently someone there caught wind of our little Willa fighting to come home for Christmas and may do a story on her. 

Willa reached 4 pounds on December 11th.  She was able to be moved to a big girl bed - an open crib! She has been doing very well with tolerating her new environment.  Willa is still back and forth with bottle feeds.  She is able to nipple 2-3 times per day.  Lately she has been taking all of her bottle during the night shift and then not too interested in taking even half of her bottle during the day.  She is working with a speech language pathologist to help her with her sucking technique.  I had no idea a speech language pathologist would be working with babies!  She checked Willa's jaw, tongue, and gag reflexes.  Willa has good technique when it comes to sucking.  She just needs to learn to concentrate on the task at hand and get some more endurance to finish the entire bottle. 

She had a follow up visit from the eye doctor yesterday and he discovered Willa's right eye shows that she has stage 2 level 2 ROP.  This is an eye disease that almost 80% of premature babies get.  Right now Willa will be monitored every 2 weeks to be sure the eye doesn't get worse.  She may need injections or laser eye surgery if the situation does get worse.  Willa has been on and off with her oxygen (nasal cannula).  Right now she is on a very minimal amount.  She usually needs a little oxygen during her feeds as she gets pretty worn out. 

Overall she is doing very well and continues her weight gain of about an ounce per day.

Her sign the nurses made for reaching 4 pounds!

Willa's first bath from Mom

The new crib

I want to thank eveyone for their prayers for Willa's NICU neighbor.  She is doing better than the doctors expected and is actually going to get to go home.  The mom has been there with her baby every day I have been up to see Willa.  I know they will not have an easy time taking care of her once she is home.  I now know the baby's brain is severely under developed.  I am so glad they are able to take her home and enjoy the time they have with her.

Please come home for Christmas, If not for Christmas by New Years night

Willa is 2 months old as of yesterday.  During our visit with her, we asked her nurse Meagan - one of our favorite nurses :) - when she thought Willa would be able to come home.  Meagan is optimistic that Willa may be able to come home by Christmas.  However, just a few days before that another nurse made the comment that Willa would not be home with us for Christmas.  I'm sure they don't want to get our hopes up.  But it is too late...they are already up.  Keep the prayers going that she is able to come home with us!

Many people have asked what weight she has to be before she goes home.  Weight has litle to do with when she goes home.  There is not magic number.  In order for her to come come she must do the following:

-maintain her body temperature in an open crib (Willa is still in an isolette)
-take all her feeds from a bottle (Willa is getting 1 or 2 of her 8 feeds a day from a bottle)
-go 5 days without any bradycardia or apnea
-pass the carseat test - sit in her carseat for a hour and a half without any bradycardia or apnea

Willa has been off and on with the bottle feeds.  One day she will take the whole bottle and the next, not even half.  The nurses found out she has such a strong suck she was collapsing the nipple of the bottle.  They switched her up to a higher flow nipple and she has done better with that. 

Today is day 63 of Willa's NICU stay.  She is 3 lbs 9.2 oz.  Yesterday the orders came in for Willa and she was taken off her nasal cannula.  This is a big step for her.  She did great all day being off the oxygen, even through her bottle feed.  That evening she got her first dose of her 2 month vaccinations.  The nurse said she may need her oxygen again after her shots and sure enough she did.  She got the second dose of her vaccines today and hopefully she will be feeling better by the end of the week and able to come back off the cannula.  Here are some pictures of her without cannula.  She is getting some pretty chubby cheeks!  

The classic Willa look

I ask that eveyone say an extra prayer for Willa's new NICU neighbor and her family.  The baby was born on Friday and has some medical problems.  The mom is having a very hard time dealing with it all.  I don't think she has been in to see her baby since the day she was born.  There is not much privacy in the NICU so even though I try to mind my own business, sometime you just can't help but overhear the nurses.  From what I've heard, the baby has some problems with her brain and has an abnormally large head.  It doesn't sound like there is much hope for the baby to live long.  Seeing that really makes you thankful for what you have.  It's true what they say; someone always has it worse than you.  My heart goes out to this mom.

3 pound turkey

Willa reached 3 pounds today!  She has been doing alot of growing lately.  She gained a pound in 16 days.  That is right at an ounce per day.  The nurses tell me she really makes the nurse practitioners and doctors use their knowledge to come up with just the right "formula" for her feeds.  The nurses have a very specific recipe to follow when mixing up her food.  They reassure me they will have it much simpler by the time she goes home :)
Willa was introduced to her first nipple feed on Thanksgiving day.  She was such a trooper and took over half of it!  She was pretty wore out and the rest of the feeding was done through her NG tube.  Today she took her whole feeding from the bottle!  She will be fed one to two bottles per day to start out with until she gets the stamina to work her way up to all feeds from a bottle.  She is not able to breastfeed at this point because she requires the special "formula" to give her the calories she needs to grow. 
She is slowly being weaned off her oxygen.  She is down to 1 liter and usually around 25% oxygen. 
Nothing much else has changed.  She just continues to grow and get stronger which is what she needs to do.  She is a baby of many expressions.  The nurses say she has a very concerned look on her face.  She has started to smile quite a bit when she is awake.
As promised, here are some pictures from the week -

practicing her sucking

Willa's first try with nipple feeds

Our first Thanksgiving together



Thankful

We have so much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.  Willa is such a blessing and a true miracle for us.  While we have had a rough road the past three months, Willa has shown how strong she is and given us the strength to get through it all.  
This morning Mitch and I were looking through pictures we have taken on our phones during Willa's NICU stay.  It is very scary to look back at those pictures during the first month of her life.  She is very fraile and her skin has a grey tone to it.  Now she looks so healthy and has a beautiful pink complexion about her.  Here she is - 

Today we enjoyed a Thanksgiving meal in Wichita at Stroud's, a family style dining restaurant, with Mitch's mom, dad, brother, and my sister Katrina.  We then went to the hospital to see Willa.  Our little turkey is weighing in at 2 lbs 13.7 oz.  Today was a big day for her.  She was able to try out a bottle for the first time today.  She is up to 27 ml's for her feeds.  She took over half of it from the bottle!  The nurse was very impressed with her first try at taking a bottle.  Usually the bottle feeding is one of the hardest feats for a preemie to overcome before they are able to go home.  I'm hoping today is a sign that Willa will be able to figure this out quickly.  
I will have more pictures to share later this weekend.  Happy holidays!

Growing right along

Today is day 49 of Willa's stay in the NICU and actually it is going by quickly.  I'm so proud of her and the progress she has made lately.  Her feeding tube has been moved to her nose so that she can now start trying to take feeds from a nipple.  This hasn't been introduced yet since she is still pretty small.  The nurses said she is about 500 grams (a little over a pound) under what a baby of her gestation should weigh.  She is now 15 3/4 inches long and up to 2 lbs 11 oz!  She has been gaining around an ounce a day since she hit the 2 lb mark.  Willa's bradys and desats have been very few lately which is great.  Her red blood cell count was low with the last lab that was done.  The lab also shows that her body is trying to reproduce those red blood cells.  They are going to let her try to get those counts up on her own before they give her any extra help.   If she can get her red blood cell count up, it is likely that she can get completely weaned off the nasal cannula to where she is completely breathing on her own.  She had a follow up exam on her eyes to check for ROP - an eye disease that can develop after being on oxygen for extended periods of time.  There were no signs of any problems with her eyes and the doctor was impressed with that!  Here are some new photos of her.

A new sign the nurses made for her.  She is wearing the little outfit my cousins Trevor, Lela and Haddie Arnoldy got for her.  It's so cute!

Sleeping beauty :)

A lot of catching up to do...

So much has happened with Willa in the last week!  First - she reached the 2 pound mark on Wednesday the 9th!  To document the occasion, the nurses took another photo of her.  Miss Willa, we need to work on the smile.  I think she will get a good laugh out of this picture later in life :)

We forgave her for not smiling in this picture.  She saved her smiles for Thursday.  We met 2 photographers, a PR person from the hospital and a freelance writer at the hospital on Thursday to get our story and take some pictures of us.  Willa did great with everything.  She gave the photographers some big grins :)  I'll be sure to put some of those pictures up when we get them.  I think there will be a story on us in a magazine the hospital puts out.  I'm not sure what else they plan to do with the photos.  After all that was over, Mitch held her and she was worn out.

Friday night we celebrated Willa's 2 pound milestone by having friends over for a "pounder party".  It was fun to have everyone over! 

Willa is now up to 2 lbs 3 oz.  She has moved to a new bed; her "big girl bed" Mitch says :)  It is still an isolette, but with fewer bells and whistles and it doesn't have the humidity regulator.  She is now cleared to wear clothes!  Here are some more pictures from the weekend.

The new bed

Photo by Amy Latta :)

Mitch, MJ (Mitch's mom) and Willa in clothes!

Kisses to Willa from all you

who have asked me to give

them to her for you!

Halloween is over = Goodbye to the CPAP monster

You have to agree...it is a scary looking apparatuce!  Thursday Willa said no more CPAP!  I'm a big girl; give me the nasal cannula full-time.  So that is what they did!  She has been doing very well with the nasal cannula since.

While we are mentioning Halloween, I have to share a picture of what the nurses did for Willa.

If you can't read it, it says "Dear Docs, Can I please have some candy to help me grow a bit? Thanks, Willa"  Thought it was too cute!  The nurses make these scrapbook like pages when babies hit a milestone or when they get a good picture of the baby when the parents aren't around.  The nurses are so great!

I think the Docs did give Willa candy.  Today she is 1 lb 13 oz!  Her feeds are now up to 17 ml's every 3 hours.  Her latest brain scan came back negative.  I was visiting with one of her doctors yesterday and he said she was doing exceptional!  What a wonderful thing to hear!  We had public relations come talk to us today and they would like us to share our story for advertising purposes for the NICU and the maternal fetal medicine specialist I went to during the pregnancy.  We will see what that will all entail.
Here is Willa snoozing away yesterday :)  Happy one month birthday Willa!

IV free!

I went to visit Willa on Saturday and noticed something was missing.  It took me a second to figure it out, but then it hit me.  Her IV was gone!  Yay!  This means she is getting all her nutrition and medication orally.  No more poking!  The nurse came over to give me an update on how she was doing and told me her weight - 1 lb 12 oz.  I couldn't believe it!  I made her repeat it and double check to be sure that was correct.  It was; Willa gained 3 oz in a day.  Wow!  We are very anxious for the day she hits 2 lbs!  Her feeds are up to 15 mL every 3 hours. They are also fortifying the milk to give her some extra calories to help her put on the weight.  They also upped her time on nasal cannula from 3 hours to 6 hours.  So she is on a 6 hour rotation between the cannula and CPAP.  She is now 13 1/4 inches long.
As I mentioned in my previous post, she has found her hands.  While it is cute to see her starting to use them more, it is a pain for the nurses.  She has now pulled out her OG tube (the tube going down her mouth to her tummy to feed her) twice now!  This has caused her to start vomiting and gets her pretty worked up and she starts having bradys like crazy.  Willa's hands have been "taken away" from her from the time being.  They don't make baby mittens small enough for her hands so they found the smallest ones they could find and have tied them on with ribbon.  Hopefully this prevents any more tube pulling.
Grandpa Jimmy and Grandma Net brought Great Grandma Marshall to meet Willa for the first time on Sunday.  It was so good to see them all again.  Willa and Dad got to take a 3 hour nap later that day.  Willa was also very busy getting Halloween cards made out to her other NICU neighbors, but she got it done just in time :)

Changing and Growing!

Each time we go see Willa I swear she gets bigger and looks different.  I went to see her yesterday which was day 24 of her NICU stay and she was just getting ready to be switch to nasal cannula from her CPAP.  I was able to change her diaper which is getting a little easier to do, but is still a struggle with all the wires and tubes to manuever around.  The nurses sent me home with one of her diapers (unused of course) to keep for her baby book.  I thought I'd compare it to a size one diaper which is for babies 8-14 lbs.  Quite a big difference here.  The little diaper is still very big on her.

As of Thursday night, Willa is up to 1 lb 9 oz.  On Thursday morning they started doing sprinting again with Willa's oxygen devices.  She is doing 3 hours on nasal cannula and then 6 on CPAP.  She is doing very well with that.  We like it when she is on the nasal cannula because you can see her face so much better!  Her feeds are now at 13 ml's every 3 hours.  I was able to hold her for an hour and a half.  She is definitely getting stronger - she picked her head up off my chest and turned her head the opposite direction.  The nurse gave her a paci to see if she would take and she started sucking!  That is great!  She has also found her hands.  She will put them in her mouth which the nurse says is a baby's way of trying to calm herself.  She is also tugging at her nasal cannula and feeding tube.  Here is her latest picture right after they switched her over to nasal cannula.

William's lab results

After William was born we gave the doctor permission to take some cells from him and sent to the lab to see if they could detemine if there was a medical condition that caused his passing.  The results came back that there was no genetic or medical reason behind his passing.  They tested all his chromosomes.  They were unable to get results on chromosomes 13, 15, 16, 21 (down syndrome), and 22.  So if there was something wrong with those chromosomes, we will never know.  We got the testing done more to know if there was something that was genetic and could arise in future pregnancies than to know what went wrong with William.  So I guess the news that there was nothing medically wrong is good news.  It was just all in God's plan.

Starting to make some progress

After having to stop Willa's feedings because of her bloody stool, she was able to start back up again when her x-ray and lab came back as normal.  She had to start all over so it was back to only 2 ml every 3 hours and working her way back up again.  And even though she stopped her feedings she grew!  She was up to 1 lb 8 oz  and 12 3/4 inches long on Saturday the 22nd.  Willa's blood cultures that were drawn on the 19th never grew anything so that means the staph infection is gone.  The last dose of antibiotics is today.  She is back down to 1 lb 7 oz which is crazy because she is now up to 9 ml of milk every 3 hours and she got 14 ml of blood over the last two days.  One of these days she is going to go through a growth spurt!  She is still on CPAP at anywhere from 23-30% oxygen.  I'm hoping once she gains a little more weight she will be strong enough to try the nasal cannula again.
Mitch and I went and saw her yesterday for about 4 hours.  I was able to hold her for over 2 hours.  Nothing beats that!  Willa got her first story book from one of my high school classmates so we took that to her and Mitch started reading it to her while I held her.  Mitch said she kept smiling at him.  Not sure that she is capable of smiling at this point but that is ok :)  Willa also got a picture that cousins Kiley and Layla colored for her so we hung that up on her wall.  
Everyday we get more and more cards in the mail.  Thank you to everyone who has sent cards, gifts, and prayers!  We are so blessed!

Eh...it was a so, so week

Willa's infection is a staph infection in her blood.  It sounds scary but the doctors assure me that the antibiotics they have her on will treat it.  It's just a waiting game to see if the blood cultures grow each time they take them.  As of tonight the cultures they drew on the 19th have not grown anything yet.  Yay!  This bug may be gone finally.  If that is the case we can get a PICC line in soon so the IV's can stop.  I think Willa has had at least 5 different IV's since the infection was first discovered.  Poor girl :(
Her feedings were going well and she was up to 7 mL.  That is until Thursday.  We got a call at the house Thursday night from the doctor.  They only call when something is wrong.  So of course Mom panicked.  The doctor assured me everything was fine with her.  She had a bit of blood in her stool that day so they were concerned.  They decided to stop her feedings for a day.  She had x-rays taken of her abdomen and blood drawn for tests Thursday night and Friday morning.  There were no signs of any wrong from the x-rays and the blood tests and she has good bowel sounds and a nice soft tummy. 
Willa has been off the nasal cannula since she threw a fit on her two week birthday on the 18th.  They decided to try her back on the nasal cannula today (the 21st) for 3 hours and then back to the CPAP for 6 hours (they call this sprinting).  She did very well for the first few minutes then she kept having A's & B's.  I'm so glad the nurse was close.  Willa got very pale and and was really struggling to take a breath.  The nurse kept the oxygen mask next to her until the respitory therapist could come and switch her back to the CPAP.  It was definitely a scary moment.
Now some good news; Willa gained an ounce this week.  She is now up to 1 lb 7 oz.  Hopefully everything is ok with her tummy so she can get back to feeds again and gain some weight.  And in case you missed it, I got the best picture of miss Willa before she threw her fit today.  I love my girl!

A little inspiration...

I came across this today...

Did you ever wonder how the mothers of premature babies are chosen?

Somehow, I visualize God hovering over Earth, selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation.

As he observes, he instructs his angels to take notes in a giant ledger.

"Beth Armstrong, son. Patron Saint, Matthew.

Marjorie Forrest, daughter.Patron Saint, Celia.

Carrie Rutledge, twins. Patron Saint ... give her Gerard. He's used to profanity."

Finally, he passes a name to an angel and smiles. "Give her a preemie."

The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She's so happy."

"Exactly," smiles God.

"Could I give a premature baby a mother who knows no laughter? That would be cruel."

"But does she have the patience?" asks the angel.

"I don't want her to have too much patience, or she'll drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off, she'll handle it.

I watched her today. She has that sense of self and independence so rare and so necessary in a mother.

You see, the child I'm going to give her has a world of its own.

She has to make it live in her world, and that's not going to be easy."

"But Lord, I don't think she even believes in you."

God smiles. "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just the right amount of selfishness."

The angel gasps, "Selfishness?! Is that a virtue?"

God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she will never survive.

Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect.

She doesn't know it yet, but she is to be envied.

She will never take for granted a spoken word.

She will never consider a step ordinary.

When her child says 'mama' for the first time, she will be witness to a miracle and know it.

I will permit her to see clearly the things I see ignorance, cruelty, prejudice and allow her to rise above them.

She will never be alone.

I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side."

"And what about her Patron Saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in the air.

God smiles. "A mirror will suffice."

Willa's first 2 weeks

Time is going fast which is good!  Willa is two weeks old today and is doing well.  I'll go ahead and summarize her first two weeks to get everyone up to date.  I hope to do better at posting regular updates at least a couple times a week.

Day 1 - Happy Birthday!  Willa was taken to the NICU and put on the ventilator.  Mitch and I didn't get to spend a whole lot of time with her that day.
Day 2 - Still on the ventilator and started light therapy for jaundice.
Day 3 - The cardiologist did an echocardiogram of Willa's heart and that showed her PDA valve was still open.  Started on medication to get that valve to close.  This medication does not allow Willa to have any breastmilk feedings until the last dose is given.  So she will be given lipids and TPN (basically an energy drink or gatorade) to keep her body functioning and getting the necessary nutrients.  She was able to come off the ventilator and she was ready!  She helped the nurses pull the tube out!  She is now on CPAP.
Day 4 - Willa had a scan of her brain and that came back negative for any bleeding.  She has had a few episodes of apnea (where she forgets to breathe) and bradycardia (where her heart rate drops very low).  The nurses had to get in her isolette and rub her back to stimulate her to remember to breathe!
Day 5 - First poopy diaper! Yay!  We got word that the medication that was given to her to close the PDA valve worked.  She was able to start out on some breast milk feedings starting with just 1 ml every 3 hours.  Her current weight is 1 lb 5 oz. Not bad for going 5 days without food!
Day 6 - Willa had a blood transfusion today to help replace the blood that is drawn.  She just can't replace it fast enough.  Her oxygen levels on the CPAP were in the 20's.  Room air that you and I breathe is 21% so she is doing very well.  The doctors decided to give her a try on nasal cannula and rotate back to CPAP every 6 hours.  So far she is tolerating that very well.  Still having a few apnea and brady episodes, but that is pretty normal at this point still.
Day 7 - We were able to hold Willa for the first time!  We did kangaroo care - Willa lays on Mitch and I's bare chest so we can provide her with adequate body heat and so she can hear our hearts beating; all very soothing to a preemie.  She liked the kangaroo care so well, the nurse had to turn her oxygen all the way down to room air.  She is now up to 2 ml's every 3 hours for her feedings.  There was some concern about the circulation in her legs because her big toe on her right foot turned purple.  They ordered an ultrasound of Willa's legs to be sure there was no blockage.
Day 8 - The cardiologist came to get a better look at Willa's legs.  She is just too tiny to see much on the scans they do.  They don't see anything wrong with the circulation in her legs so they are just going to watch them.  Her big toe is now back to pink.  The cardiologist double checked her PDA valve after he checked her legs and the darn PDA valve opened back up.  They started her on the medication again.  So its off the breastmilk feedings again until that medication is done.
Day 9 - It was a pretty uneventful day and that is not a bad thing. :)  I got to hold Willa for about an hour.
Day 10 - Today was a busy day for Willa.  It started out with some nice quiet kangaroo care in the morning with Mom.  She had a couple episodes of brady while I was holding her, but just a little rub on her back and she was back up again.  Then the nurse said she needed another blood transfusion.  Her lab also showed she had an infection, but she is not acting sick.  They are starting her on antibiotics to take care of any infection that is attacking.  The IV site in her umbilical cord was removed since that can be a source of infection.  They tried multiple times to get an IV in elsewhere and didn't have much luck.  Poor thing was poked so many times that day :(
Day 11 - They checked her PDA valve and it is almost closed.  So they think it will close on its own.  They finally got an IV in her right arm.  Mom got to help change Willa's diaper today.  Still need to work on that :)
Day 12 - They thought Willa was ready to be on nasal cannula for 12 hours and CPAP for 6 hours so they are going to give that a try.  She was able to start back on feedings today - 1 ml every 3 hours. 
Day 13 - Willa is now up to 2 ml's every 3 hours and is tolerating that very well.  She got pretty tired being on the nasal cannula for 12 hours so they are switching her back to the 6 hour rotation between nasal cannula and CPAP.  They drew some more blood to run cultures to check on the infection.  Dad was able to kangaroo with Willa for about an hour.  The IV in her right arm started leaking so it was moved to her right leg.
Day 14 - Up to 3 ml's every 3 hours now.  Her IV had to be moved AGAIN!  It started leaking, so it is now in her left arm.  They won't put an IV in her left leg since that leg had a weak pulse to begin with.  She is still having a few brady episodes every now and then.  Most of the time she is able to pull herself back out of it on her own though.
Day 15 - Willa is being a little lazy today.  She did not want to be on the nasal cannula.  She kept having brady episodes where the nurse would have to get in the isolette and stimulate her.  They switched her back to CPAP and she quit the brady fits.  Little stinker!  The blood cultures came back positive for infection so they are going to continue with the antibiotics.  She is still weighing in at 1 lb 6 oz.  She did gain 10 grams over night so maybe soon we can reach the 2 lb mark!

Service for William

Today was the service for William.  We decided to have a private graveside service for family.  Ironically, it is also National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day.  I was definitely not looking forward to this day.  We weren't able to go see Willa because we had to bury her brother.  Although it still is hard to get over the loss of William, it was good to finally have some closure that he is now in heaven and watching over his sister.

Little Angels

When God calls little children

To dwell with Him above,

Our mortals sometimes question

The wisdom of His love.

For no heartache compares with

The death of one small child

Who does so much to make our world

Seem wonderful and mild.

Perhaps God attires of calling

The aged to His fold,

So He picks a rosebud

Before it can grow old.

God knows how much we need them,

And so He takes but a few

To make the land of Heaven

More beautiful to view.

Believing this is difficult

Still somehow we must try,

The saddest word mankind knows

Will always be "Goodbye".

So when a little child departs

We who are left behind

Must realize God loves children,

Angels are hard to find.



Willa's Delivery

I had been having contractions since I left the hospital Saturday.  They were not painful and there was no change in how I was progressing so I was sent home.  By Monday evening, they had started to hurt a bit nothing that was unbearable and I was able to sleep most of the night.  Waking up only a few time.  Tuesday morning I called my maternal fetal medicine specialist to tell him my contractions had started hurting morning and he said unless they were getting stronger or closer or my water broke, I didn't need to come to the hospital yet.  He said just listen to your body and if you feel like you need to come in, then do! 
I had an appointment with my OB that afternoon at 2:20 so I just figured I would wait until then and let my OB assess how I was doing.  We got in to our appointment and my OB checked me and said she was sending me to the hospital.  My OB's office is at the Via Christi St. Teresa and I needed to deliver the babies at Via Christi St. Joseph.  I was sent up to labor and delivery at St. Teresa to be stabilized - I didn't realize I wasn't stable.  I was then given the magnesium sulfate once again to calm contractions that had started picking up after being checked.  I was transported via ambulance from St. Teresa to St. Joseph.
Once at St. Joseph, I was taken up to labor and delivery where one of my OB's partners came in to assess me.  She checked me again and ordered a sonogram to see how baby B was positioned.  My water broke moments later.  My maternal fetal medicine specialist came in a few minutes after that and performed the sonogram.  Baby B was breech which meant c-section.  Before I knew it, Mitch was putting on scrubs and I was being wheeled back in to the OR.  Things moved very quickly.  For those who think it hurts like hell when they put the needle in - it doesn't!  Getting and IV is much worse in my opinion!
Willa was born at 5:13 pm and she was taken immediately to another room to get her hooked up to a ventilator and assessed.  Mitch was able to leave and go see her briefly.  She even let out a few little squeals for him.  She weighed 1 lb 6.4 oz and was 12 inches long.
My contractions had pushed baby A too far down to deliver through the c-section so the baby was deliver vaginally after my c-section was completed.  Baby A was 5.7 oz and was 8 inches long.  Baby A was a boy.  This was a total shock to us, as we were expecting a girl.  So it was very emotional for both of us because all along we thought it would be so cool to have a boy and a girl for our twins.
I was taken to a recovery room and we were able to hold our baby boy.  We named him William Robert.  The nurses took some pictures of his hands and feet.  The chaplain came in and baptized him.  I am so glad we took the opportunity to see him and say goodbye.
I was in the recovery room for a good 2 hours before I was wheeled over to NICU to see Willa for the first time.  She was so small and had tubes and wires all over her.  She does have very big feet and long fingers and a cute little nose :) I just couldn't believe that was my baby!
Once I was in my room my family came in - my mom, dad, 3 sisters, Mitch's mom, and Grandma Dolly.  Each took their turn going in to see Willa with Mitch. 
We did not expect to have a baby that day, but I'm so glad for her to be here and know she had wonderful nurses and doctors watching over and caring for her everyday.

Well bedrest has begun and hasn't been too rough yet.  We left the hospital around 3:15 on Saturday afternoon.  Before we left, I was having contractions 2-3 minutes apart.  They didn't hurt, but it freaked everyone out.  Mitch and Katrina had just got to the hospital and saw the monitor.  A couple minutes later I had the nurse and doctor in to check on me, but since they weren't painful they weren't overly concerned.  I did think that this would hurt my chances for being dismissed. The contractions slowed down thank goodness.  I had several exams before I left the hospital.  There were no changes from when I was admitted.  Which was good.  I did have a fFn (fetal fibronectin) test done.  This test determines if a protein exists that helps determine if delivery is close.  My test came back positive.  Had the test been negative, that would mean I have a 95% chance that delivery will not occur within 2 weeks.  Since my test came back positive, it doesn't necessarily mean I have a 95% chance that delivery will occur within 2 weeks.  It means more that there is a higher likelihood that it can occur.  I go to my regular OB doctor tomorrow (10/4) and then back to my maternal fetal medicine specialist on (10/5). 
We have been so blessed to have our friends volunteer to bring meals and help out with whatever we need.  Thank you's go out to all who have been praying.  Keep sending them up!

Admitted to hospital

Mitch and I went to our maternal fetal medicine specialist on September 29th.  The appointment went very well and baby B looks to be doing very well.  The doctor did an internal ultrasounds and found my cervix was at a 2 when it should have been at a 4.  Baby A's membrane was starting to funnel out to the cervix.  I was sent to Via Christi St. Joe to be given steroid shots to help develop baby B's organs and magnesium sulfate to calm any uterine activity.  The magnesium sulfate makes me have double vision and feel pretty woozy so its not too fun to try to read a book or do anything on the computer.  I did want to give everyone a quick update.  I will be in the hospital until Saturday afternoon when they will reevaluate how things have progressed.  Best case scenario is I go home and am on bed rest.  Worst case scenario is I stay in the hospital for the remainder of the pregnancy. 
We met with a NICU doctor when we were admitted to go over any questions and what to expect for complications with babies born so early.  The survival rate is fairly good - around 85% and it increase with each day.  The biggest risk is bleeding in the brain.  Right now they have 24 weeks twins and a 25 week baby and they are all doing well.  He made us feel pretty comfortable with the fact our baby will be well taken care of.  The best thing of course is to have the baby stay put for as long as possible.
We would appreciate any prayers you could send up.  Thank you to everyone who is thinking and praying for us.

25 weeks

Sorry, no picture this week.

Size of baby: an eggplant!

Total Weight Gain/Loss: 16 lbs 

Gender: girl

 

Milestones: Head to heels, your baby now measures about 13 1/2 inches. Her weight — a pound and a half about the size of a small bag of sugar, she's beginning to exchange her long, lean look for some baby fat. As she does, her wrinkled skin will begin to smooth out and she'll start to look more and more like a newborn. She's also growing more hair — and if you could see it, you'd now be able to discern its color and texture. Your dexterous baby can touch and hold her feet and make a fist. Your partner may be able to hear her heartbeat by pressing his ear against your belly. Your baby has a regular sleep schedule now and active and inactive periods. You may or may not be able to discern what those periods are. Her nostrils, which have been plugged, open up.

24 Weeks

Take a break from the computer if your fingers feel numb or tingly. It's probably carpal tunnel syndrome, often brought on by pregnancy. Stretch your hands frequently to loosen them up. For significant symptoms, try wrist braces or splints at nighttime. In the past few weeks, the top of your uterus has risen above your belly button and is now about the size of a soccer ball.

 

Size of baby: a papaya 

Total Weight Gain/Loss: 15 lbs

Maternity Clothes: yes, just got some new fall and winter clothes I'm ready to break out

 

Gender: girl

Movement: yes, sometime it feels as though she is trying to escape.  I like the little kicks better.  Less painful.

Sleep: went out and bought me a body pillow yesterday after a very rough night sleep Sunday.  Glad to report (and Mitch is very thankful as well) I slept wonderfully!

What I miss: Baby A.  Still think of him/her everyday but I know he/she is in a good place watching over me and baby B and that we will be taken care of.

Cravings: fall food - chili, apples, and bierocks.  Yum! 

Symptoms: stretching and movement.  I think I'm even having some braxton hicks contractions at time.  Took me awhile to figure out what was going on!

Best Moment This Week: Hearing baby B's hear beating.  :)  It was the best sound in the world.  Also, shopping with my mom and making progress on our basement.  The spare bedroom funiture is partially moved down to the basement.  Yay!  Getting close to having the room cleared out so we can start putting the crib together.

 

Milestones: Your baby's growing steadily, having gained about 4 ounces since last week. That puts him at just over a pound. Since she's almost a foot long, she cuts a pretty lean figure at this point, but her body is filling out proportionally and she'll soon start to plump up. Her brain is also growing quickly now, and her taste buds are continuing to develop. Her lungs are developing "branches" of the respiratory "tree" as well as cells that produce surfactant, a substance that will help his air sacs inflate once she hits the outside world. Her skin is still thin and translucent, but that will start to change soon.

What I'm Looking Forward To: The weekend - hopefully we will get the basement cleaned a little more, get the spare bedroom completely moved to the basement, get the crib put together, and go furniture shopping.  Sounds like we will be busy!